What is this bullshit?

Why is it that we men always believe that there is that someone special?

Why do we expect things?

Why is it that we want to look into her eyes?

Why is it that we want to handle her like the most delicate, most expensive ornament?

Why is it that we want?

Why is it that we hurt so bad when it can never happen again?

Why is the want?

Why is the need?

Come to think of it. Is there a need?

Short story

I was born.

Tough decisions

There are many moments in life that we all are afraid to finally face.

Tough decisions that have to be made.

I had to unfortunately make one such decision today.

A flash shower from the skies on a perfectly sunny day.

It poured cats and dogs for just two minutes; like the heavens were marking a point in history that is the unfortunate end of an era, leaving us gaping at the probable future.

I wonder what lies ahead.

Life is the determinant of a complex matrix that is filled up by the decisions that we make, they say.

I hope this decision tilts the scales towards the positive.

More importantly, I hope i can live with this.

The Job Market

Why do they call it a job market when there isn't actually one?

There's a hundred 'HR agencies' as they call themselves in India who are filled with mind f***ed employees who's job is to call freshers day and night and offer them call centre jobs.

I wonder if they ever realized that if they were to do the same thing themselves at a real call centre, they'd make a better living. But no, they don't want to be working in a call centre. They are 'HR executives' .

That brings me back to the point. The hub of technology as they call it, Bangalore. Also plays host to one of the biggest industrial estates in Asia; but there are no decent job openings for mechanical engineers; except for marketing jobs in the same field. There's another pointer to you'HR executives'. Marketing jobs are not core mechanical jobs. Just because the target company is named XYZ tools, it doesn't make a tool sales job anything more than a marketing job. If things don't go all that well, I may find myself in one of these tool sales jobs in the end, so, no offense to cutting tool companies, but this situation is frustrating.

Hoping to find a solution soon. I believe this is what every new mechanical engineer, or at least the vast majority are facing. I will keep you folks posted about the same through the same blog should I find a solution.

For now, it's a frustrated Rakesh signing off........

Little things

Its always the little things that come back to haunt you isn't it?

It's that moment that you know you gotta make a choice. What sounds favorable now may not be favorable enough for the future; so, you make your decision.

Either you suffer in the future or the consequences change the probable future and you got to face the music anyway.

The worst is yet to come. It's the realization that you probably never had t make a choice anyway. All you had to do was act accordingly.

Its always easy to recognize what was the right thing to have done; while it's difficult to make the next choice thats coming at you.

So, we're back at square one.

The cycle of life.

Abstract thoughts

The weather in Bangalore is getting unpredictable. It's almost like the Gods are playing a practical joke by creating weather patterns that coincide with my thoughts, feelings and moods. Today was a pleasant morning followed by a disgustingly hot day; and now it's been pouring cats and dogs for the last hour. And just when you thought it was over, it stops to rain. The little hope that you had seen is now vanishing away from your sight. Like a silver lining fading away. I should have known better than to think that there was a silver lining, right? Three years. What an ending. Is this an ending? Was it an ending? Will it ever end? Will it ever start again? Should I hope not? Do I hope not?

What is life?

The sandman enters. . . . . . . . . . . .

The Crucial Juncture

From the very beginning of out time that all of us can recall, we have always ben at what the elders call as junctures. Come to think of it, it's quite a daunting issue.

The first 'juncture', common to most Indians is the completion of higher secondary (std.10). When you get a lot of advice " You are at a crucial juncture in your life beta, you have to decide and draft your life from here on"; but come to think of it, there is only one major choice that one is given. Chose between science, commerce and arts. Considering my interest in engineering, it's not like I would have chosen any different, but most young men and women are generally pushed into what is termed as the "Science stream".

Then comes the second 'juncture' at the completion of the pre-university course (10+2). Again, we are given the same age old dialogue "You are at a crucial juncture now beta. It is from now that you will draft your career". Although there are a hundred different options for the youth at this 'juncture' most are commonly found choosing between engineering and medical education. Some people find themselves taking consolation in joining a pure science stream or any other degree course as it is termed here. There are a very few young men and women who pursue 'non-professional courses' (anything other than engineering or medicine) purely for their interest in it.

That debate of streams is entirely another topic of popular debate in India. Coming back to the matter at hand, the third such 'juncture' that the average Indian faces is the juncture that I am at now. Having completed the degree, now we are told again "you are at a crucial juncture beta. The starting of your career. What you do now will draft your future".

At this point, what I'm thinking is "Is this really it? Or is there any other juncture which is 'crucial' and will 'draft my future' ?" ? ? ?